A contemporary Bible, tailor made for the Twitter and text-messaging demographic, may read like this. Bouncing with levity, it’d lack the grandeur of the King James Bible, the very reason it endures.
What we also love about this Bible is its strangeness—its weird punctuation, odd pronouns (as in “Our Father, which art in heaven”), all those verbs that end in “eth.”
Yet, its very oddness is part of its power.
Even in its time, the King James Bible was deliberately archaic in grammar and phraseology: an expression like “yea, verily,” for example, had gone out of fashion some 50 years before. The translators didn’t want their Bible to sound contemporary, because they knew that contemporaneity quickly goes out of fashion.